


A Small, Furry Problem

by storyplease



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Humor, friendship and family - Freeform, luck potions, severus and the horrible no good bad day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 07:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15858756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyplease/pseuds/storyplease
Summary: Severus knows that no man can be an island, but perhaps a man can build a wall of solitude and never be hurt again. Of course, the outside world has a way of getting in, and as it so happens, Severus finds himself with two marks of contention growing right out the top of his head!





	A Small, Furry Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Based on the prompt "Snape with Cat Ears."

The package arrived by owl that Saturday morning while Severus was in the middle of lacing up his boots. He'd already finished the top half of his list of chores, and had been about to take a little constitutional around his property, which was secluded and included around fifty acres of untamed forest. After he'd barely survived the war, Severus found it preferable to stay away from other human beings. It was, after all, the primary source of pretty much all of his woes. The quiet of nature suited him, and whatever he could not make for himself could be ordered by owl or courier, or even portkeyed to a set location at the end of the dirt road where he'd fashioned a small shed for larger deliveries.

This, however, was an unexpected delivery, and Severus despised surprises, because invariably they were never good. With a flick of his wand, Severus summoned a dried newt for the courier owl and then levitated the package towards his workroom with a suspicious scowl.

First, he sniffed the package. Then, he looked at the writing on the outside, trying to figure out if he could tell who it was from by the handwriting. All that he could tell was that the package had been sent from Japan. The scrawl on the front, while vaguely familiar, was not immediately recognizable. He checked it for curses, but the package appeared to be perfectly normal on the outside.

Satisfied, Severus decided to leave the package on the table while he took his walk. Two of his fields had crops that required their daily watering, and he wanted to check on the fencing near the back of his property, where he'd noticed some mole hills earlier that week.

By the time he returned home in the mid-afternoon, Severus had quite forgotten about the package. In fact, it was only when he entered his workroom with a basket filled with cuttings from his ingredients field that he finally decided to open the package.

Inside, he found a bundle of odd, strongly-smelling herbs with a fat, tufted white end, and a letter from Luna Lovegood, who normally taught Care of Fantastic Creatures, but who had apparently been traveling abroad during the summer.

"Dear Severus," the note read, "I found these for sale in a little apothecary I found down a small side street next to the Gotokuji Temple. They're known as the "Lucky Cat's Paw" grass, and I've heard they can be used for a number of potions, including one that supposedly works even better than Felix Felicis! I've enclosed a small booklet the friendly shopkeeper suggested."

"I'm sure you did," Severus muttered darkly. Lovegood was always far too free-spirited, always taking recommendations from people. Severus despised buying anything on the recommendation of an employee. He'd heard them all, and the old "it rivals Felix Felicis" claim was as old as Merlin's moldy pants.

Still, he leafed through the instructional booklet and did have to admit that the images were vivid. The instructions had to be translated to English, but Severus knew that particular charm with his eyes closed and had no problem using it. Interestingly enough, the potion didn't seem to be all that difficult to brew, and Lovegood had helpfully included adequate amounts of the rest of the ingredients with the package. While Severus did not doubt that her motives were pure, (years of dealing with her various gifts as she trotted about the globe like some sort of magical creatures maniac had tempered Severus' expectations), it still irritated him to think that she was trying to get him to brew a luck potion. Why? Perhaps because she thought he needed luck? But the truth of it was that Severus was always up for a challenge, especially when he might be able to make.. _improvements._

It was too late in the day for Severus to start work on the potion, or so he thought to himself, but he reasoned that he  _could_  start the prep work. It was only some hours later, when he had set the potion to boil, that he realized that he'd gotten carried away yet again and hadn't eaten since breakfast. He set a timer and left the potion to brew. Once he removed it from the heat, it would have to mature for a week and then be exposed to the full moon at midnight, which would take another week and a half to happen.

Severus wasn't worried, though. He, of all people, knew how to be patient.

* * *

Everything was terribly, terribly wrong.

The potion had come out perfectly. It shimmered in its vial like liquid silver and gave off a minty scent not unlike catnip. The scent, the appearance, the viscosity—all textbook. Severus had been incredibly proud of himself. And so perhaps it was due to his own sense of superiority that he decided to taste a bit on the tip of his tongue to see if it offered the desired effect. It hadn't been much. Severus would have noticed, he was sure of it. Within five minutes, he'd found three books he'd thought lost, his favourite fountain pen mysteriously unclogged itself after he'd lost hope in ever using it again, and he found a fresh loaf of bread hiding in his grocery bag that he didn't remember buying. Severus was impressed by the luck potion's potency. Felix Felicis was known to take time to kick in, and generally influenced the behaviour of the user. He, however, didn't feel any unusual effects.

Doing his daily chores was easy until the potion finally wore off and the threatening clouds began to dump buckets onto his head. Severus grumbled about this and slogged his way back to the house, removing the mud from his body and drying his hair with a towel before grumbling off into his library. The potion kept popping up in his head randomly for the rest of the day, and he felt the desire to take some more— just a drop or two, really, was all he needed.

Severus tried to put it out of his mind. Taking any potion, especially one that affected one's luck, was sure to be a mixed bag at best.

 _But the booklet did say that the potion does not have the same side effects as taking too much Felix Felicis,_  he thought.

It took him several hours, but he finally convinced himself to take a proper dose.

Soon after, he felt heavy and weary all over, but attributed this to the time, which was late enough to be early according to his pocket watch. After getting himself quite a lot cleaner than he normally would, Severus not only finished brushing his teeth before the warmth from the shower finally cleared, but when he got into bed, his hair somehow positioned in such a way that it was not wet and unpleasant on his neck. He fell into a blissful, deep sleep soon after.

The next morning, Severus had a strange feeling that he couldn't quite place. He blinked slowly, letting his eyes adjust to the room around him. Something twitched above him and he brought his hand up to the top of his head. When he felt what it was, he suppressed a shout and bolted out of the bed. Running to the mirror in his bathroom, Severus stared up in shock at the two furry ears that now sat atop his head. At the moment, they appeared to be flat against his head in displeasure, which was fitting, since Severus was most displeased. Soon, though, he was able to make them perk forward a bit, and he could see that they were some sort of animal ears, not unlike a cat's ears.

"This is absurd!" Severus exclaimed, but absurd or not, the ears remained.

Severus tried a number of spells and potions to reverse it to no avail. As a last resort, he tried yanking them from his head and a very un-Severus-like yowl escaped his mouth. He went to the mirror again and curled his lip only to find that his teeth had gone distinctively pointy and when he stuck out his tongue, he noticed that it had rough hairs growing on the tip of it.

With fury and fear beating in his chest, Severus Apparated away to the only one he knew of who might be able to help him.

* * *

"MINERVA I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF YOUR HELP!" Severus didn't even give her a chance to open her mouth.

"Severus? Are those... _ears_?" Minerva blinked slowly at the disheveled man who'd entered the room.

"Yes and they are  _terrible_!" Severus shouted, pulling at them and then wincing at how much it hurt. "I have tried everything, and they refuse to go! As a master of Transfiguration, you must know of something similar."

"Hmm." Minerva hummed, chewing on the end of her quill. "Are they causing you discomfort?"

Severus glared at her. "What sort of question is that?"

"You may not need to eat breakfast like normal people, but I am in need of my morning tea." Minerva clapped and a tea tray appeared on the table with an extra cup for Severus. "Come on, Severus. Unless you are in excruciating pain, I expect you to have a cuppa with me."

Severus' ears flattened to his head, but he sat down across from her and accepted a cup of tea. After a time, they got to chatting quite amicably, and Severus had nearly forgotten about his condition until he felt a horrible itching sensation on the tip of his nose. He wiggled his nose and felt multiple tickling sensations on his cheeks. He tried to reach for his handkerchief, but the sneeze was upon him before he could reach into his pocket.

"KERCHOOO!" he roared, leaving Minerva staring at him bug-eyed from behind her spectacles.

"Severus...are...those—?"

"Don't say it." Severus was already touching them.

"—whiskers?" Minerva was frozen with shock, her teacup halfway to her mouth.

"It's getting worse," Severus was muttering to himself now. "That means…"

"Severus, please. Listen to me." Minerva's voice was stern.

"What, are you going to tell me to calm down?" Severus' voice was growing slightly hysterical. "If I can't figure out some way to reverse this, I'm going to grow a fluffy tail and eschew the toilet for a litter box!"

Minerva pounded her palm on the table. "Snap out of it!"

Severus stiffened and went silent, his ears tucking tightly against his head.

"Why is it that every time you have a problem you act as though you are the only one in the world who will help you? We hear nary a peep from you for years despite writing you letters and inviting you to various events."

"I—"

"Don't you interrupt me,  _Severus Snape_!" Minerva had the sort of look in her eye that could make an entire class of rowdy first years go silent, and despite his own experience with using that exact same look, Severus was not immune to its effects. "Why can't you understand that we've all been worried about you? That we care about you! It isn't your job to try and fix everything in the whole world!"

The silence ran between them for a long moment before Severus finally spoke. "I just...I wanted to get away from everyone. I wanted to...I don't know...feel normal, in control. Everything goes straight to hell whenever I interact with another human being and you would know that more than most. Honestly, it's more for your good than mine!"

"You absolute  _idiot_ ,  _we love_ you!" Minerva said, her eyes growing misty, "Even when you're being an absolute stick in the mud! Now come on. I am certain that Professor Lovegood will be of at least some assistance."

Severus, who was so shocked by her outburst that he was unable to properly articulate any words at all, simply followed Minerva dumbly from the room.

* * *

"Hello Severus. The whiskers and pink kitty nose really suit you." Luna Lovegood had appeared behind them, and Severus was fairly certain that she'd floated down from a tree. She was dressed in a set of robes that looked as though they'd been made from large leaves with a fan of feathers that stuck up in multiple colours like a long, fluffy collar.

"No thanks to you!" Severus growled. He winced when he realized that his teeth were growing quite a lot sharper than they had any business being and had scraped against his cheek.

"The transformation is happening more quickly now," Minerva said seriously. "Severus has told me that you were the one to send him the ingredients and instructions. Would you be able to help with information on reversing the effects?"

"Hmm, well I might know of a way," Luna said, looking thoughtful, "but I doubt Severus would like it."

"It really doesn't matter what I damn well like or dislike as long as I can end the day at one hundred percent human!" Severus said tersely.

Minerva opened her mouth to say something, but a strange sharp sound, much like cloth tearing, filled the room for a long, embarrassing moment.

Severus' ears flattened against his head and his shoulders slumped as Minerva ran around to check.

"I have a tail, don't I?" he moaned sadly.

"Indeed," Minerva replied. "This is worse than we thought."

"It's adorable, you have to give it that!" Luna said, looking very much like she wanted to touch the curling, fluffy protuberance that was now sticking out the back of his robes.

"Over your dead body you will!" Severus hissed, and when he raised one hand, they all noticed that he'd grown some rather convincing retractable claws as well.

"Oh dear," Minerva said, looking worriedly at Luna.

"Bad kitty," Luna said, pulling a squirt bottle from under her robes and squirting Severus in the face.

"HEY! STOP THAT!" Severus growled, but he resheathed his claws, and his tail stopped twitching so violently.

"We're going to need Pomona," Luna said simply, and turned as though expecting them to follow.

Minerva went first, but she kept glancing backwards at Severus, who was beginning to look as though he was considering walking on all fours, to make sure he was still there.

* * *

"Ah, Minerva! I'm glad you came! I've got your catnip plants all trimmed and fertilized. She sure is a beaut— Severus! A pleasant surprise! And Luna too! Why, this old greenhouse hasn't been this full in ages" Pomona Sprout broke out into a wide grin, her cheek smeared with dirt.

Minerva looked a bit embarrassed. "It's fine, I'll come back later for the tree, Pomona. What we're here for is—"

There was a terrifying THUMP on the ground and everyone turned to see Severus flopped over with his face in the lower-hanging leaves of the aforementioned catnip. His tail flicked up and down lazily as he began to emit a low and throaty purr that reverberated through the greenhouse.

"Oh my," Pomona said, "that is rather...unusual, even for Severus."

"He took a luck potion that Luna sent to him from Japan," Minerva explained.

"He always did insist on trying all of his batches before sending them to Poppy," Pomona said, shaking her head. "I can't tell you how many times he was in here scrounging around for the best bits of ingredient."

Minerva was looking a bit jealous at Severus, who was now rubbing his whiskered face against the leaves and chewing on some of the smaller, tender buds. In a flash, she shrank down into her animagus form and bounded over to the catnip, jumping up and using Severus as a springboard to jump to one of the plants that was set on the table. Severus paid her no mind, so focused was he on his own plant.

"The luck potion really shouldn't have changed him into a cat, though," Luna said thoughtfully. "I suppose that luck has a strange way of manifesting, though. At the shrine that I visited, it was said that the spirit-god of the lucky cat still lives there. They call them 'yokai' or 'kami' depending on what sort of spirits they are. The funny thing about cat spirits is that they tend to be mischievous, just like their earthly counterparts. Perhaps one of these spirits possessed one of the ingredients and—"

Pomona patted Luna on the shoulder gently. "Oh dearie, I think that perhaps you are overthinking things. I've seen this sort of thing before, only from Foxfire Root being harvested too early. Those who chew on it to stay warm in the winter must be careful to only do so once it has dried out. If there is too much moisture, they grow fox shaped ears on their heads that spit and flame at the very tips."

Luna's eyes went wide, and Pomona shook her head.

"I know what you're thinking, but don't do it. I've seen what flame can do when one rolls over in their sleep and catches the bed on fire. It's not pretty."

By the time they both looked back at Severus, they could see that his skin was mostly hidden by thick, black fur, and he'd shrunk a bit smaller in his robes until they looked enormous on him. Soon enough, he wiggled out of his robes through the collar, his whole body that of a black cat with white paws and a stripe of white at his throat.

"Meow," Severus said, looking at them both with a bored expression and then hopping up on the table to pounce on Minerva.

"Mrrrrowr!" Minerva play-hissed and batted at him. They tumbled about in a half-drunk kitty sort of way before rolling off the table and into the dust of the greenhouse.

Luna swooped in and grabbed one kitty under each of her arms.

"The poor dears. Just let them sleep it off. I'll bring Severus' robes to the house elves for laundering and have them sent to his old quarters. We kept it, you know, Severus. In case you wanted to visit." Pomona called out, as Luna carried them away.

* * *

"There!" Luna said proudly, setting the kitties down in a room that made Severus' ears perk up immediately.

The room before him was cozy and filled with cushions and plenty of late-afternoon sunbeams. There were plenty of cat toys to play with and plenty of things to scratch one's claws on, and a climbing toy that seemed to pop into the ceiling at one part and then re-emerged on the other side of the room. Tunnels and hiding spots were in abundance on the floor, and there were even window perches in direct sunlight.

Minerva let out a purr-squeak of delight and ran to grab a catnip mouse in her mouth. Severus walked hesitantly on his new four paws at first, but then Minerva swished her tail and looked back him, her expression a challenge.

_Catch me if you can, Severus._

Severus let out a fierce "Mrowr!" and the chase was on. Luna smiled as they galavanted and played together, summoning a book from her study and began to read. As a lover of all creatures big and small, Luna had built this place herself after finding out that many of the students' cat familiars were bored and neglected. But there were no students in the castle now, so the two had the place to themselves.

After an hour of play, both Severus and Minerva lay sprawled out in a sunbeam, their bodies still in sleep.

"Oh, I see," Luna said, turning the page of her book. She'd brought it back with her from Japan— a compendium of magical creatures and spirits that had cost her a fair amount of money, but was worth its weight in gold.

"Especially now," she mused, bookmarking a page. Severus could wait, after all. A little sleep and sunshine, as well as the company of a friend would do him good.

* * *

Severus awoke to the sensation of soft cotton sheets around his body. He immediately threw back the sheets only to find that he was most definitely human once more, at least as far as he could see and feel with his hands. When he ran to the bathroom, it was only then that he realized he was not in his bed at home but in his old quarters at Hogwarts. This, however, didn't seem to bother him one bit. He looked in the mirror and inspected his teeth. All seemed normal. When he pulled back his hair and pinched his ears, he could have cried out in joy.

Just then, a knock sounded at his door.

"Just wait a bloody minute!" he shouted, and quickly set about getting dressed.

He opened the door to a smiling Luna Lovegood.

"Are you feeling better, Severus?" she asked.

"Apparently. Don't you jinx it." Severus tried to scowl, but found that he was far too relaxed to summon the energy to do it.

"I'm here to walk you to the Great Hall for breakfast. All the rest of the staff is there, and many of them would love to catch up with you." Luna smiled in her spacy manner and hooked her arm around his, pulling him towards the Great Hall.

"Um, well, about that…" Severus began to think about all those imagined judgmental stares, and thought instead that he should probably be going back to his hermitage for the good of all.

"Let me just cut you off right there! You don't get a say about this at all!" Luna said gleefully, "Headmistress' orders!"

Severus grumbled, but he allowed himself to be led.

The breakfast was standard Hogwarts fare, which meant it was delicious and hearty, but what heartened Severus the most was the camaraderie and conversation that he'd forgotten he'd missed so much at the Head Table. Unlike during the school year, the Head table was surrounded on all sides by staff so that there was always someone across to chat with. Staff members played musical chairs, all vying to chat with Severus, who found himself increasingly flattered by the sincere attention. In the end, it had been over three hours since the house elves cleared the table that Severus finally got up from the table and told everyone that he had to leave.

"It isn't that I haven't enjoyed myself," Severus said haltingly, "I just...I know where I belong."

"You belong wherever you bloody well want to be!" opined Madam Hooch, raising her glass.

"Thank you for the colourful phrasing, Rolanda," Minerva said. "But I must admit she is right. We care about you, Severus. I should hope that the next time we see you, it isn't because you've accidentally potioned yourself into a butterfly."

"That's ridiculous," Severus said, "for there is no potion like that."

"You're thinking of making it now, though, aren't you?" Pomona teased.

"Not at all!" Severus said too quickly, then, "Well, maybe a  _little_."

"We all behaved as we thought was best in the war, but that's ancient history, Severus. Hogwarts will always be a home to you, even if it's not always your home," Minerva said, smiling softly. "So please, watch for our owls. I'm certain there are plenty of reasons why we might need a Potions Master's advice...or that of a valuable and trusted friend."

"I believe...that can be arranged." Severus tried to hold back the smile that threatened to twist his lips upward, turning so they wouldn't see how happy it made him to be needed, wanted, cared about. It was as though something hidden and dusty in his heart had suddenly flared to life again, and he could see that he'd been short sighted to eschew all outside contact.

"Farewell, Severus!" the others called as he made his way towards the large double doors to the Great Hall, and Severus felt at once that all was finally well.


End file.
